The Basic Fear: Self-Abandonment
The basic fear is the fear of the abyss,nfear of self-abandonment,nfear that I will no longer be active in directing my life.
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Beneath all fear-based states such as anger, guilt, shame, hatred, jealousy, and so on—exists this basic fear, the fear of losing myself.
It's natural (in a harmonic movement) and logical that we all have this fear. We come from a more limited consciousness, more victimized, less actively creative, darker or even shadowy, more dormant, less clear, less present, less distinguishing and more blurred.
Fear Manifests When We Believe It
As always happens with fear—we fear something that has already happened or is happening. In this case, it is indeed still happening—first, because we are still in the process of leaving passive, victim consciousness toward present, active, responsible consciousness that understands it is the source of the reality we experience.
Second, because we abandon ourselves from time to time.
How do we abandon ourselves? We believe the fear.
Doing What "Should" Be Done = Self-Abandonment
Every time we do what "should" be done, it's a sign of self-abandonment. If I can't say I want to do something, it means I'm forcing myself, which means I've abandoned myself.
One possibility is washing dishes with joy, thinking about the clean sink I'll have, for example. A second possibility is washing dishes because it's dirty and disgusting, and dishes need washing so food doesn't stick, and because if there are guests, what would they think of me, and so on.
The first option will make me happy because it comes from connection—I'm cooperating with myself. The second option will make me feel drier and more gray, because it comes from coercion, self-tyranny—I'm forcing myself.
The Circle of Fear
And this goes very deep. In today's culture, I find that most adults go against themselves frequently, countless times a day, consciously and unconsciously.
And as I wrote at the beginning—the basic fear is the fear of the abyss.nThe only way this fear materializes is when we believe the fear.nThe basic fear is of abandonment, and we abandon ourselves when we believe fear.
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That's all there is to it.
Read more about dealing with fears and returning to ourselves.
For more on overcoming the fear cycle, see this resource.
