An understanding has matured in me that has had a positive impact on my life, and I want to share it with you.

I’ve noticed a pattern that repeats itself: after spending a while together, there is a need for some time apart. At first, I tried to explain this need and came up with ideas about it, such as thinking that I was being rejected or that I was losing interest. I also tried to ignore this need and stay close, but that only intensified the discomfort and created conflicts.

The turning point came when I read a text from the book “Conversations with God”. It talked about how the natural state of the universe is unity – meaning that everything is one and there is nothing else besides it. The relative reality we experience as human beings was created to break this oneness into parts so that the universe can know itself through us. While I was already familiar with this astonishing point of view, its application to the cycles of closeness and separation created a new understanding in me.

Through this understanding I have noticed that there are cycles of unity and separation in various aspects of life. For example, in reincarnation, there is the cycle of entering a human body (separation) and leaving a human body (unity). During a lifetime, there is the cycle of a child’s dependence (unity) and an adult’s autonomy (separation). In the creative process, there is the cycle of immersing oneself (unity) and giving birth to a creation (separation). Similarly, in relationships, there is the cycle of intimacy (unity) and then a transition to dealing with each person’s own affairs (separation).

This understanding has allowed me to appreciate and respect the need to move between unity and separation, and I interpret reality in a much healthier way as a result. The tensions that I used to have stemmed from misinterpretation. I was afraid of being rejected, so I imagined that this was the case. However, in reality, it was a natural and healthy cyclic movement.

Recently, whenever I have chosen to distance myself – it was out of love and appreciation for myself and those around me.

I feel grateful that we are attentive to ourselves and look forward to our next reunion that will come out of sweet longing.

Since making this discovery, I have also found that the more I take care of my own needs and desires, the weaker my need for alone time becomes… but that’s a story for a whole new post!