This post feels a bit like coming out of the closet.
It would be preferable to read about a topic such as eternal life when you are still somewhat drowsy – before or after sleep, or after some kind of a meditative practice. If you are in a productive state of mind, then it’d probably be better to save for later.
As a child, probably still in kindergarden, I tried to imagine how it would be like when I cease to exist, as I was told happens when you die. I remember that this experience had an effect on me, I experienced something dark and cold, not in terms of temperature but with the absence of the warmth of a living being. I couldn’t really get too deep into this state of being – I was blocked before I felt that I’m completely ‘there’. Still, just the attempt instilled deep sadness in me, and after trying a few times I decided to not attempt to do that ever again.
Many years passed and a lot has changed, and I discovered my truth on the matter – that life is eternal.
No need to wait until you die to discover it, but in order to discover it while you’re alive you’d have to be prepared.
How My Consciousness Functions
I know the way my consciousness functions – it swiftly jumps between duality (transience) and unity (eternity). I don’t know if the pace of the transitions is measurable in regular time units, but it’s certainly too fast for our conscious mind to comprehend. It fools our mind as does an animated film, with the alternating frames that seem to us like moving characters. Our mind buys it that there’s a moving object even though it’s merely a series of still paintings.
And in the movie of our reality, the moment of silence between one scene to the other is a moment of creation. The animator and the director and the screenwriter exchange words and decide what will happen in the next scene, and… ACTION! In that moment of in-between – there is no body, eternity is right here. It’s just another state of awareness.
And I could stay ‘there’ in the eternity, I really could. Several times I was given the opportunity but I chose to ‘return’, because the truth is that I am not afraid to be ‘here’. I really want to be ‘here’, it’s only my body and my soul that are afraid of it, sometimes.
A Different Story
Without embedding a new story into my subconscious about this world, I wouldn’t have been able to recognize that I visited ‘there’ and returned to ‘here’. I’d let it go over my head, as if nothing had happened, business as usual. And I know with absolute certainty that – wow, how much of life’s wondrous magic goes above my head every day and every moment.
The wonderful magic of life is right here and now. How much of it am I really prepared to see? Well, with time I allow myself a little more—a little more letting go of the illusion of knowing, and a little more of allowing a new story beyond all imagination to be revealed to me.
I Came Here To Experience
The wonderment of the experiences I have ‘here’, as a person, is found in their profundity and their lusciousness. They are much more profound and luscious than the experience of life without a human body(s).
Sometimes the fear is so great that I resist the experience, I shut off, and as a result – I suffer. Sometimes there is pain, sometimes sadness for what will no longer be. But mostly, and especially in these days, there is joy, curiosity, wonder, and the loving warmth of togetherness.
Even though the circumstances, both my personal, national and global – are the most complex and seemingly negative that I remember in this life—still my consciousness is the closest to how I felt when I was a carefree child, just now I’m more aware.
I find it helpful to occasionally give thanks for the richness of the human experience. The profoundness of emotions, the sensory lusciousness… this is probably the most high-end multimedia system in existence. The act of giving thanks helps me remember that there is another possibility—a reality in which the feelings are dim, the experiences are vague, the senses feel more like an echo or a memory of what I experience ‘here’, as a person, through my senses.
Life is Eternal
All of this instills serenity in me, even in these very moments. Because I know that I am carried on the tender palms of God through these wonderful experiences, for which, deep in my heart, I long. I am being guided towards a great unity with God and everything that is, with the infinite, that is happening here and now.
And it’s all related to the fact that life is eternal.
Because this serenity comes from eternity, from unity, from God. Without the connection to divinity I would be a shell, I would be a zombie, I would live in constant and meaningless suffering. I know, because I was there.
I know that everything I said doesn’t prove anything, and maybe it’s also not convincing, maybe it even seems that I’ve completely lost it. But maybe it also inspired a spark of re-membering of aspects of life that you may have forgotten existed.
